Barnacles on a Boat.

The first thing you need to know
is that I got a Wii for xmas.
BADASS.

Now, the second thing you need to know is that
I went to Pennsylvania for about a week and half
to visit dear, dear friends (namely my ex-boyfriend)
who are still living at/in? Camphill Soltane.
My main goal for the trip was to figure
out whether or not there was any chance
that my ex-boyfriend and I might get back together.
I had hoped that we might again
join forces in the name of love,
but I quickly learned that what we
had was (and still is) gone far, far away.
Mega bummer.

Aside from my lonely New Year's Eve
(I opted out of a party and brought in '09 watching WALK HARD),
my friends and I were able to have a really nice time.
We visited the Camden, NJ waterfront, where I was able
to watch rusty bikes thrown into the water sink
a little deeper into the mud, harass some geese,
visit the Campbell's Soup World Headquarters
(No, they do not offer tours or give free samples of soup),
and freeze my ass off.
Say what you might about NJ, it sure knows how to show
a girl a good time.
I spent some time at the Reading Terminal Market
in Philadelphia.
I made a beeline for my favorite vegetarian stand
and ordered a delicious veggie philly cheese steak.
Oh my god. It's good.
The rest of my time over there was spent at Soltane
with my nose in a book (The Gum Thief, Miss Wyoming, Epileptic, Black Hole),
cooking, or laughing with my friend Clare about things that probably
aren't that funny to anyone else.

Since I've been home, I've reunited
with very old friends, started an action-packed semester,
and made some plans for the future.
I've been busy.

From about November through the present I've been
thinking about... ridiculously cliche things
that are far too embarrassing to admit on
any public forum.
There are things that are weighing heavy on my soul, though.
I don't know how to fix any of my problems
without sacrificing things that I feel are very important
parts of who I am and what I believe or what I think I believe.
(what if I'm wrong? What if I am those barnacles on the sinking ship?)
I worry that I may always be stuck in this weird place.
Yikes. Deserted island, anyone?

For the time being I will bury my head in school
work and hope that something comes along
to shake things up a little.


Hugs and Kisses,
Val